The Table that Forgives

A Biblical Nepo Baby

Forgiveness can be a challenging topic, especially in today's world. It is often labeled as a weakness or something that implies giving up one's self-worth. But what if that's wrong? What if forgiveness is actually one of the strongest, most self-loving things you can do?

Genesis 45 tells the dramatic turning point in a soap opera-like story of Joseph and his brothers. It all starts with jealousy. Joseph was their father Jacob's favorite. Biblical "nepo baby" Joseph received a fancy, colorful robe and spoke of dreams he had, in which one day his family would bow down to him. His older brothers hated him for it.

Eventually, their anger boiled over. They tore Joseph's robe and sold him into slavery. Joseph was taken by a caravan of merchants far from home to Egypt.

And things didn't get better right away. Joseph was falsely accused, thrown into prison, and left forgotten. But through all of it, God stayed with him. Years later, Joseph rose to power by interpreting Pharaoh's dream. He became second in command over all of Egypt. If this were a movie, the story would end there. Joseph wins! He proves everyone wrong. But that's not where the Bible stops. Joseph's biggest challenge wasn't his rise to power—it was what came next: facing his past.

Past the Past

When famine struck, Joseph's brothers came to Egypt seeking food. They didn't recognize him, but he knew precisely who they were. Genesis 42:7 says,

"…[Joseph] recognized them, but he pretended to be a stranger and spoke harshly to them…"

Ever think you've moved on from someone who hurt you—until you see them again and feel everything all over? Many people today treat forgiveness as if it's simply cutting someone off or pretending it never happened. Sometimes, distance is needed, especially for safety. But avoiding someone isn't the same as forgiving them. Archbishop Desmond Tutu, a leading voice of hope during Apartheid, once said,

"We must transfigure a situation... of brokenness and separation...We have no option…we must show they count as being of immense value to God."

Forgiveness is about more than letting go—it's about seeing people as God does. Joseph puts his brothers through a test—not to punish them, but to see if they've changed. But, in reality, it is not our job to be the judge. God wants us to extend forgiveness because he forgave us in Christ, extending a table to include everyone who would accept the invitation (Galatians 4:32).

The Big Reveal

In Genesis 45, Joseph is sitting at the table with his brothers, who are still unaware of who he is. It had been years since they had betrayed him. The brothers had probably begun to believe the lie they told their father that Joseph had been killed by a wild animal. Sometimes, we tell ourselves alternate narratives to hide our shame about what we've done. When Joseph finally reveals who he is, it's emotional: "I am Joseph!" (Genesis 45:3) His brothers are stunned and scared. But Joseph doesn't lash out.

Instead, he refuses to engage in avoidance and says: "Come close to me." (v.4)

He acknowledges their betrayal: "I am your brother Joseph, the one you sold into Egypt."(v.4)

And then, he reframes it all: "Don't be distressed… God sent me ahead of you to save lives." (v.5)

Joseph doesn't ignore the pain. He doesn't pretend it didn't happen. But he refuses to let it define him. He sees the bigger story—that God was still at work even in the worst parts of his life. That's real strength!

Forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting or excusing what happened; it means accepting and releasing the pain. It means putting the event in a bigger story—one where healing is possible, and your worth isn't tied to how others treated you. Joseph could have stayed stuck in bitterness. Instead, he chose purpose over revenge. He says, "You sold me… but God sent me." That's a decisive shift.

So here's the question: What pain in your life needs to be reframed?

What story are you telling yourself—and is there a bigger one God is writing through it? Forgiveness isn't the opposite of self-worth. It's a declaration that the God in you is more than what happened to you.

Genesis 45. (n.d.). In Holy Bible: New International Version.

Tutu, D., & Webster, J. (1990). In Crying in the Wilderness (pp. 6–7). essay.