Tuesday: “Jesus’ Will”

even now, my bones ache 

and my heart swells

at the thought of another existence as this.

by remaining, what does that say?

shall hope as well be tossed into the sea?

“Untitled” by Julius Shumpert (2021)

Scripture Reading

Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.” He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then he said to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.”

Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.” Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. “Couldn’t you men keep watch with me for one hour?” he asked Peter. “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

He went away a second time and prayed, “My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.” When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. So he left them and went away once more and prayed the third time, saying the same thing.

(Matthew 26:36-44)

Take With You

Moments before he would be handed over to darkness, the Light of the World felt the weight of it all. Falling on his face amongst the olive trees in the Garden of Gethsemane, a war broke out inside of Jesus. His divinity charged forth with the instructions from his Father that he would willingly give himself up and experience the worst of human suffering. His divinity lead with obedience and faith in the face of the unknown; clinging to the gilded words of Heaven. 

But on the other side of this internal battle was Jesus’ humanity. Jesus was scared. He felt the threat of the coming pain, the strain on all his closest relationships, and the bend of time to these next crucial hours in salvation history. Jesus dealt with the anxiety of it all. 

Often, we read the word’s of Jesus’ prayer too quickly. “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.” But Jesus had been gone for an hour sitting with this request. In that space between the request and the acceptance, Jesus sat with God. He wrestled his flesh into obedience. He sought the strength of his divine relationship; not to take it away I the end, but to help him through it all. This is the promise of Holy Week: that God is present in both the worst moments and the best ones. God may not take away the struggle, but God will walk with you through it.